Long Distance Relationships

            

I have recently had a very unique experience with long distance relationship and have since fancied myself a bit of an expert at it. As a young female at Quinnipiac University I sort of figured that there was a decent chance my one true love was nowhere to be found on campus. While my search consistently was chalked up a failure, one day I found a new an exciting man on my doorstep. Long distance relationships can either be a beautiful thing or an absolute hell. For some having limited face time and the opportunity to lead separate and independent lives is the ideal situation. For others phone and Skype dates on a regular basis just don’t cut it. Distance can be hard because sometimes you just need the person to be there with you but making the time to travel the distance is seemingly impossible. The long distance boyfriend can come from a variety of places. He can be a high school flame, a friend of a friend, a chance meeting that turned into something epic, or sometimes a summer fling can turn into the real thing. It does not matter where he comes from; the defining factor is that he is not with you on a daily basis.

Firstly I want to highlight some major disadvantages to this relationship. It takes a lot more work to make it work. Both parties need to be ready and willing to go the extra mile because seeing one another requires a lot more than a walk across campus. This is a relationship for the strong and independent collegiate. Fights often occur out of frustration or inability to communicate. Nights can get lonely, phone calls can seem insufficient, and flirtation at the bar can be confused for something more. It also takes an extreme amount of trust to be away from the one you love consistently. The woman engaging in a long distance relationship has to be strong and confident. This woman values her freedom and is secure enough to not worry about what is going on while he is away.

Now this freedom offered by the long distance love allows for many possibilities to the collegiate woman that having an on campus honey does not. There is a surplus amount of me time, of girls nights out, uninterrupted all night cram sessions, shameless (harmless) bar flirting, and the all important option of sleeping directly in the middle of the bed with unlimited sprawling capabilities. Having a chance to spend time with friends and focus on your individual college experience is something that should be highly valued in a relationship. I think that it is important for more women to put less emphasis on their relationship and focus more on their life.  This ability to live separate lives can even bring you closer with your significant other because you have more to discuss while on the phone or when a long awaited visit actually occurs. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” has definite potential here.

Having learned from experience the long distance relationship is trying. In my case there was extra distance added and with limited communication the relationship went through some major changes. One of the biggest challenges with the long distance man is that you, and he, are constantly changing, growing, and experiencing without the other. Without consistent and worthwhile communication this relationship will not work. While independence is something to be valued highly it can also be a lonely life. Individual characteristics play in a big role when engaging in a long distance relationship. Being able to be confident enough in yourself and your relationship should be a highly valued attribute. The long distance boyfriend can be an amazing learning and growing experience. This man and this love can teach a person a lot about the value of having a partnership and developing yourself in ways that no other relationship can!